apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
