we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
