it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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