THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
