The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize