how can u be prego again
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
