I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Randomize
