Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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