he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
This is the high leading the old right now
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
