It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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