question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
