If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
