:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
