I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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