Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
