where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Randomize
