she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
