She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
