Only a mothe r could love this liver
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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