Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
