We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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