Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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