good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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