It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
