My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
