and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
