I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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