Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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