the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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