then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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