haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
