Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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