Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
