I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize