think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
