watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
