if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
