People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize