There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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