Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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