So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
