If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
