Screwed.edu
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
