Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
