You can't special order awesome
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize