Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
