I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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