She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
