it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
