i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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