I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
