omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
