My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
