I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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