Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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