hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
