I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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